This is an Xmas poem one of my favorite callers Rickrick wrote for me and I had to share it all with you! Be sure to leave me comments if you love it as much as I fucking do!
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Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the ceiling
A feminine cackle that sent my mind reeling.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Roxy came with a bound.
She was dressed all in leather, from her head to her foot,
And her clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
Weapons of torture were flung on her back,
And she looked like a burglar, just opening her pack.
Menacing, sexy, an evil young elf, And I shrieked when I saw her, in spite of myself!
A flash of her fangs and a twist of her head, Soon gave me to know I had reason to dread.
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work, As she pulled out her chainsaw, turned to me with a jerk.
And laying her finger aside of her ear, Exclaimed with a smirk, “Oooh! A volunteer!”

And before I had time to fight back or run,
Roxy?s reign had already begun.
More rapid than eagles her weapons they came, And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name! “On cleaver, machete, on dagger, on axe. On sledgehammer, staple gun, bullwhip that cracks.
On crossbow, impaler, on mace spiky ball
Now do not rest. Do your best. Do your best all.”
The little ones were nestled all snug in their beds
While tools of destruction smashed their little heads.
And mom in her kerchief of cotton and fleece
Would find herself severed in more than one piece.
The wrapped toys and clothing placed under the tree
Remained undisturbed all during the spree.
Though, Roxy decided to use the occasion
To grab a necktie for her next home invasion.
Then police sirens halted Roxy?s fun,
And she knew that her evening of mayhem was done.
You could hear her exclaim „ere she drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all and to all a good-night!”
